How to Land Your Kid in Therapy - The Atlantic

Parenting in the modern age is a hugely difficult thing to do. There are no perfect answers or perfect parents. Whilst we might not make the same mistakes our parents made, we'll make our own and our children as adults will make theirs. One of the concerning things that parenting is moving towards is how we make our children the centre of the universe. In many households in our area children are the focus of the majority of the families activities. We believe that we're teaching our kids to be successful and happy with well developed self esteems and bright futures. But I am concerned that we're teaching our children to be prideful and arrogant and in many families I am concerned that the 'god' of the house is the child, because everything revolves around their needs.

In the last two weeks here are three of the conservations I've heard or had:

"why is your kid not tied into their car seat" "because she does not like having the seatbelt on" - this from one of our mothers who arrives a a local shop with her kid standing on the front seat.

"Why don't you get your kid involved in KidsChurch and worshipping Jesus?" "He does not want to go, he'd rather stay at home and watch Cartoon Network, so that is why we don't often come to church either"

"Why don;t you come join our home group, you'll really grow in your faith and love for Jesus" "We can't, our kids wont sleep in other peoples beds and we really don't want to upset their routine"

What concerns me is that the parents are not parenting and the kids are in the controlling position. What concerns me most is that people's children are defining how they live their faith and not the other way round! Deuteronomy calls us to lead our children in faith and yet we're allowing children to rather watch TV or be comfortable in their beds to the detriment of their faith life - and our own! Where are the godly parents! I believe it's time we stood up and regained the rightful place in the home, to be God's representatives for our children teaching them to love Jesus, showering them in his life-changing grace and helping them to follow him.

But there may also be more to it than just their faith (and ours) in the example I mentioned above we've even allowed our toddlers to make decisions about their safety, surely we're the ones who are supposed to be protecting our kids! In a recent article How to Land Your Kid in Therapy - The Atlantic Lori Gottlieb, mother and psychologist makes a convincing argument that all our attempts at making our kids happy are making them more prone to depression, less able to deal with real world things like hardship and failure and as a rule, making them less happy and secure than ever before. The article is fairly long but she makes some compelling arguments that ring true for me. It seems that on many fronts modern parenting is not all it is cut out to be.

Perhaps it is time we started asking ourselves what is Jesus calling us to do as parents?

I'd like to make just one suggestion: our primary aim is to encourage our kids to grow up as disciples of Jesus who are salt and light in the world. Everything else that undermines that goal needs to be chucked! It's not about creating religious nutters who hate everything and are judgemental and hypocritical. Instead what we need to prayerfully and biblical reflect on what it would mean for our children to integrate their faith into their school work, their classroom environment, the sports field and their friendships. May God in his grace help us to be great parents who bring up godly children above all else!

Bono speaks really eloquently on the Gospel

In a recent book length interview “Bono in Conversation with Michka Assayas" Bono made some very succinct observations about Christian faith, whatever Bono's flaws may be he is pretty sharp on the biggest truth of all!

Q: As I told you, I think I am beginning to understand religion because I have started acting and thinking like a father. What do you make of that?

Bono: Yes, I think that’s normal. It’s a mind-blowing concept that the God who created the Universe might be looking for company, a real relationship with people, but the thing that keeps me on my knees is the difference between Grace and Karma.

Q: I haven’t heard you talk about that.

Bono: I really believe we’ve moved out of the realm of Karma and into one of Grace.

Q: Well, that doesn’t make it any clearer for me.

Bono: You see, at the center of all religions is the idea of Karma. You know, what you put out comes back to you: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, or in physics – in physical laws – every action is met by an equal and opposite one. It’s clear to me that Karma is at the very heart of the Universe. I’m absolutely sure of it. And yet, along comes this idea called Grace to upend all that “as you reap, so will you sow” stuff. Grace defies reason and logic. Love interrupts, if you like, the consequences of your actions, which in my case is very good news indeed, because I’ve done a lot of stupid stuff.

Q: I’d be interested to hear that.

Bono: That’s between me and God. But I’d be in big trouble if Karma was going to finally be my judge. I’d be in deep shit. It doesn’t excuse my mistakes, but I’m holding out for Grace. I’m holding out that Jesus took my sins onto the Cross, because I know who I am, and I hope I don’t have to depend on my own religiosity.

Q: The son of God who takes away the sins of the world. I wish I could believe in that.

Bono: But I love the idea of the Sacrificial Lamb. I love the idea that God says: “Look, you cretins, there are certain results to the way we are, to selfishness, and there’s mortality as part of your very sinful nature and, let’s face it, you’re not living a very good life, are you? There are consequences to actions.” The point of the death of Christ is that Christ took on the sins of the world, so that what we put out did not come back to us, and that our sinful nature does not reap the obvious death. That’s the point. It should keep us humble… It’s not our own good works that get us through the gates of Heaven.

Unreached people

On Sunday I preached about the church being less of a church that it should be if we're not part of it. The local church needs every part of the body to be working in sync to serve each other and then to serve the world for Jesus glory.

In the same way that we need to think beyond ourselves as individuals, the church needs to think beyond itself corporately. Someone once quipped that the church is the only organization that exists for the benefit of others. And all churches should be thinking beyond their boundaries to those in their community and wider afield who have not heard the incredible gospel - Jesus dying in our place to liberate us from slavery and death.

Here is an interesting website with some statistics on South Africa, what I found particularly interesting is that 2% of the population are considered un-reached. That means that more than a million people have not even heard about Jesus! Perhaps God uses this statistic to begin his call in your life. Maybe you are one of those who he will influence to get involved on the battle front of drawing people into the kingdom.

If nothing else would you pray for these groups of people and for those who re trying to influence them for Jesus, pray for open hearts, faithful ministry, continuing passion and endless, Spirit-filled love. And  it would be great for you to ask Jesus who you should be reaching out to. This is a job for everyone!

Essentials and non-essentials of the faith

A great piece on essentials and non essentials of the faith and how we can look at them and defend them biblically...useful reading!

http://www.reclaimingthemind.org/blog/2011/06/essentials-and-non-essentials-in-a-nutshell/#more-7976

John Calvin on the gospel

Follow this link to an amazing piece from John Calvin
Gospel Gold From John Calvin

What does a gospel centred Church look like?

Steve Timmis and Tim Chester in Total Church write this about a biblical, gospel-centred church  and some of the things that churches need to get right to be effective for Jesus in the world. I think this list is a brilliant starting point for all ministries to thing and reflect over. The book is in our church library and is worth reading. It's also refreshing to read something out of the UK instead of the US as it give s a slightly different feel and flavour.

• seeing church as an identity instead of a responsibility to be juggled alongside other commitments
• celebrating ordinary life as the context in which the word of God is proclaimed with "God-talk" as a normal feature of everyday conversation
• running fewer evangelistic events, youth clubs, and social projects and spending more time sharing our lives with unbelievers
• starting new congregations instead of growing existing ones
• preparing Bible talks with other people instead of just studying alone at a desk
• adopting a 24-7 approach to mission and pastoral care instead of starting ministry programs
• switching the emphasis from Bible teaching to Bible learning and action
• spending more time with people on the margins of society
• learning to disciple one another—and to be discipled—day by day
• having churches that are messy instead of churches that pretend

12 Ways to Glorify God at Work

We often battle to believe that all our work can be glorifying to God, irrelevant of the industry or field in which we are employed. Josh Etter over at DesiringGod.org wrote the following about glorifying God in our daily jobs and I really think it's worth looking at. He writes:

Mark Twain once said, "Work is a necessary evil to be avoided." Although there may be days when we feel like he got it right, we know God has ordained work as a stewardship of his created world (Genesis 1:28; 2:15). He has designed work for his glory and our good. But how might we glorify God at work? This list is not exhaustive, but here's at least 12 ways —

1. Believe that all legitimate work is holy or unholy before God based on our faith, not the nature of the work itself.

But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin (Romans 14:23).

2. Be just and honest in all your dealings with money.

A false balance is an abomination to the LORD, but a just weight is his delight (Proverbs 11:1)

3. Be prayerfully dependent upon God, pouring contempt on self-sufficiency.

Pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 4:17)

Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain (Psalms 127:1).

4. Use the wages earned by your work to provide for and bless others.

But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever (1Timothy 5:8).

Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need (Ephesians 4:28).

5. Grow in your skill-set, work hard, and strive for excellence.

Do you see a man skillful in his work? He will stand before kings; he will not stand before obscure men (Proverbs 22:29).

In all toil there is profit, but mere talk tends only to poverty (Proverbs 14:23).

In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven (Matthew 5:16).

6. Exemplify love for your neighbor in how you interact with your colleagues.

Let all that you do be done in love (1 Corinthians 16:14).

7. Plan ahead and sincerely preface future tasks with "if God wills."

Prepare your work outside; get everything ready for yourself in the field, and after that build your house (Proverbs 24:27).

Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit"— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that" (James 4:13-15)

8. Speak the gospel to your colleagues.

Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God (2 Corinthians 5:20).

9. Work as unto the Lord and as unto men.

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ (Colossians 3:23-24).

Servants, be subject to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the unjust (1 Peter 2:18 ).

10. Focus on the work you've been given.

Whoever works his land will have plenty of bread, but he who follows worthless pursuits will have plenty of poverty (Proverbs 28:19).

11. Speak words of grace.

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear (Ephesians 4:29)

12. Rest in your justification by faith alone in Christ alone.

yet we know that a person is not justified by works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ, so we also have believed in Christ Jesus, in order to be justified by faith in Christ and not by works of the law, because by works of the law no one will be justified (Galatians 2:16).

original at 12 Ways to Glorify God at Work

Preaching Hell in a Tolerant Age

In dong some research I came up with this article Written by Tim Keller in 1997. I think it is an outstanding primer on how to speak to post-modern people about Jesus love, and the necessity of hell. For the older generation who are 40+ the idea of Hell is easy to understand in part because we've grown up in a more religious environment but also the basic underlying philosophy we live by is able to deal with it. 

Anyone under 30 is almost certainly a post-modernist and their ideas are different and the old arguments just don't cut it. Keller's article is realy helpful for all of us leaders, parents and Christians in this kind of world as we minister to people who have deeply invested into this kind of world-view. Take some time and reflect on Keller's arguments, I think they are convincing and really powerful.

"Then a mature Christian made a connection with a sermon a month ago on Jesus at Lazarus' tomb in John 11. "The text tells us that Jesus wept," he said, "yet he was also extremely angry at evil. That's helped me. He is not just an angry God or a weeping, loving God—he's both. He doesn't only judge evil, but he also takes the hell and judgment himself for us on the cross."

The second woman nodded, "Yes. I always thought hell told me about how angry God was with us, but I didn't know it also told me about how much he was willing to suffer and weep for us. I never knew how much hell told me about Jesus' love. It's very moving."

It is only because of the doctrine of judgment and hell that Jesus' proclamation of grace and love are so brilliant and astounding."

You can read his article at LeadershipJournal.net - Preaching Hell in a Tolerant Age | LeadershipJournal.net

What is sanctification?

Great post by Tullian Tchividian What Is Sanctification?

Kings Cross

I've just finished reading Tim Keller's latest book Kings Cross. It is a brilliant book that is really worth getting. Tim is pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian church in Manhattan and he is one of the foremost thinkers on Christians living in diverse cultures and engaging those cultures for Jesus glory. In this book he looks at Mark's gospel an begins to relate it to the world in which we live. "...an extended meditation on the historical Christian premise that Jesus’s life, death, and resurrection form the central event of cosmic and human history as well as the central organizing principle of our own lives….[Its purpose is] to try to show, through his words and actions, how beautifully his life makes sense of ours"


The book as insights that made me sit up and go "Wow!" Keller is a brilliant thinker who is deeply in love with Jesus and it shows in this book. It is a good read for both the mature Christian and the seeker alike. I'd very easily give this to a person just exploring or stepping into Christian faith as it is gospel centred, clear, readable and powerful. This is not a dry academic work on the atonement but a living testimony to a glorious saviour.


I'd really recommend this to add to your library.


Foreword excerpt (PDF)
Chapter one (PDF)

Christian calendar in Outlook

Joe our church techie emailed this for me...perhaps it might be useful to you to:

"Seeing that most people did not know that Thursday is Ascension day,  I thought you might want to add this to your weekly newsletter as a Tech Tip."

In Outlook 2007 Calendar:

1. Select the Tools menu
2. Select Options
3. On the Preferences tab, click on the Calendar Options button
4. Under the Calendar Options section, click on the Add Holidays button.
5. On the Add Holidays to Calendar pop-up box, scroll until you find Christian Religious Holidays.
6. Click the checkbox next to Christian Religious Holidays.
7. Click OK
8. If any pop-up boxes ask if you want to reinstall the holidays (for Christian and/or US) click OK/Yes.
9. Click the OK button on any remaining boxes until you're back to your calendar.  

In Outlook 2010 Calendar:

1. Select the File menu
2. Select Options
3. Select calendar
4. click on the Add Holidays button.
5. On the Add Holidays to Calendar pop-up box, scroll until you find Christian Religious Holidays.
6. Click the checkbox next to Christian Religious Holidays.
7. Click OK
8. If any pop-up boxes ask if you want to reinstall the holidays (for Christian and/or US) click OK/Yes.
9. Click the OK button on any remaining boxes until you're back to your calendar.  

Grace as the motivator

We all want to be good, well those who follow Jesus do. We can pick any book in the bible and we will find reminders to live differently. We're called to live out our sexuality differently, spend our money differently and treat others around us differently. Every Christian tradition agrees that these things are desirable and pleasing to God, but the differences lie in our motivation for doing these things.


Some traditions in our country have played the "You better be good or else!" trump card where God is like Father Christmas who rewards the good and ignores (or punishes) the bad. This can terrify children into obedience and lead to some behaviour change but it seems universal that those brought up under this teaching leave the church, and often their faith, and then redefine God for themselves often in even more un-biblical ways that can never lead to being saved by Jesus. they see the hypocrisy of this teaching and they leave the church and sadly Jesus too.


Others will play the guilt trump card. They remind you of how little you have done and how much Jesus has done for you and they milk the guilt to produce the behaviour the bible clearly does expect from us. Again this drives more people from Jesus than to Jesus because guilt isolates and separates us because we live under it feeling shameful and disgraceful.


The only motivator that can produce real, lifelong, biblical, God pleasing action is the power of Grace. PAul writes about it 1 Corinthians 15:10 "But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me."   Of all the people in the scriptures, few can match up to Paul's mammoth achievements of planting churches, witnessing to the lost and writing half the New Testament. And yet this giant in the faith understands that it was all done fuelled on Grace.


I believe there are two things we need to do to achieve lives that are pleasing to Jesus:
The first is to talk about Jesus, his grace and the completed work of the cross. We've got to help people to fix their eyes on Jesus the author and perfecter of faith. We've got to remind people (and ourselves) over and over again of the great redemption story achieved at the cross. Our aim is first and foremost to get people to love Jesus with all their heart, mind, soul and strength and the way we do that is to constantly remind them of what Jesus has done for us, and the amazing, unchanging, holy, perfect, compassionate glorious God that he is. Talk enough about the biblical truths of Jesus enough and those under our leadership will come to love him deeply.


The second thing is then to teach biblically on the kind of life that Jesus calls us to. When they have understood grace and when they love Jesus, they will already be hungry to find things that they can do to please him.


Too often we start the other way round and we will fail, because action built on guilt or legalism cannot sustain. Sometimes the process of sanctification might happen before our salvation: sometimes we start behaving as Jesus wants us to before we love him, and the love then follows and by God's grace he often works outside the box!


But the point is that lasting, lifelong change can only be accomplished through a heart that has been regenerated by the Spirit. A heart that is 'souled out' for Jesus. That happens by grace and then our actions are motivated by grace that leads us to Jesus, instead of guilt or legalism that will lead us from him.